It’s that time again where I throw myself into isolation, purposely and unintentionally, emerging with a new sense of self renewal as far as music is considered. I must apologize, during this time I become depressed, out of it, which tend to involve pushing people away, and offering little to no way of communicating with me. I must say that the end result may be one definition of positive, the mind frame I fall into could be the workings of my favorite artist of all time: Nick Drake.

As before, I understand the need for concern, but please believe I wrote throughout my entire 5 subject notebook: I will not Nick Drake myself.

I used to fight these moods until I realized I will always win a losing battle. I will always give more than I should, I will always ask for even less. When I’m reminded how much warmth a person can provide my life I will not in the least feel sad. I will pretend to accept the way things have been dealt, but inside I continue to refuse to accept things the way they are. I have yet to figure myself out. I’m surprised what I learn of myself daily. For someone to analyze who I am clearly not instead of embracing whatever love I have left that the world didn’t damage, and crack a smile at the idea of only wanting to give that to you. Someone I almost got to know. I’m way off the point I tried to make. I think I proved how much my mind wonders. I like the idea of sharing complete (if I can stay on topic) thoughts opposed to stuffing them into limited characters. What I saying is this will be my formal way of updating the curious life of Milly and her army of toys.

Love and peace.

PS: Bob’s Burger, right? Pretty funny stuff

PSS: See you soon FTR.

It feels good to be writing again. I was in a funk for a little longer than I hoped. I’ve been feeling like Angel when the Groosalugg came to LA and pointed out all of his limitations. Yes, I just made that reference. But that’s not a bad thing its good to know where I stand. I don’t know. Once you start to become conscious of how long you’ve been standing that aching pain never seems to leave you. I’m not sure if I ever want it to leave or if it could, because I will always stand for something.

Life is grand. Love is good, God is great. I’m in love with where I am in life. This past year has been good to me, even though I’m almost dying every other month, I’m having a great time. I still stand by what I’ve said about if you truly love someone you’ll never stop loving them. It should grow and never fade. I love my family more and more everyday. I love my best friend London, I love my best rapper friend Nov, more and more everyday. It kind of sucks that its not the same case for the other people in my life. Its a receding factor for those who used to play a big role. I care about you guys like Sunday Morning, but I also care about people I don’t know in the exact same way. I wish everyone could remain their own special person in my eyes. Unless you are willing to do everything in your power to be where you’re wanted, where you’re needed… Only a very small few understand that sacrifice.

I should talk about my non-profit Always Fight. More people are becoming involved. We’re going to start small and hope it catches on. Well, that’s all I’m allowed to say lol.